


Common Phallacies

by missmariie



Series: Retail Detail [4]
Category: Castle
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Retail, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmariie/pseuds/missmariie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ask Kevin if he’s gay? What was she, nuts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Common Phallacies

Javier blinked dully at the pimply teenager in front of him. 

“Huh?"

The poor kid squirmed and tugged on the collar of his shirt. He’d probably been getting this a lot today. 

“ _Really_ sorry, but we ran out of fries.” he repeated earnestly. 

Javier rocked back on his heels to glance up at the bright red KFC sign above them. In pride of place next to it was a banner advertising seasoned fries for a dollar. 

“Really?” he asked. 

“Uh huh. We have all of these,” the kid swept his hand over a plastic matt display stuck to the counter, “that you can substitute in with any meal.” 

Javier blinked down at the options. Cheesecake seemed like a dubious substitute for fries. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it.”

As he pushed off the counter he turned back to add a slow ‘thank you’, but it came out as a question. 

 

Javier was still puzzling over the fate of a KFC with no fries as he stood in line at muffin break. His eyes caught on a familiar face near the door of some impressively busy nerd den. 

It was Kevin, completely engrossed in the contents of a cabinet full of swords. It was hard to make out from Javier’s angle, but he suspected the swords were probably replicas from movies and video games. It figured that Kevin would be into that sort of thing. 

He was very pretty standing there, hands in his pockets, mouth slightly open, completely still other than his eyebrows. Javier had enjoyed seeing him sweaty and dishevelled on their maybe, _hopefully_ a date, but the neat white button-down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows had its own allure. It made Javier long to run over there and muss him up. 

“What would you like, sir?”

The lady at the counter’s eyes twinkled as he snapped himself back to attention. 

“Double choc muffin please.” 

Because hey, if KFC could offer him cheesecake for lunch… 

 

When Javier got back to the store Beckett was tapping a high bounce ball on the counter and scowling at it like it had personally offended her. 

“That busy huh?” he asked, propping himself up against the wall. 

“It’s been over an hour since my last customer Espo. I can’t _stand_ this.” 

He laughed. 

Beckett fared better in the face of utter chaos than any kind of inaction. 

“You’re gonna wreck that ball one day.” he told her.

She thumped it down harder in response. 

“Help me out with something then.” he said, “If a guy works in women’s fashion and seems to really like swords, what d’you think the chances are he’s gay.” 

The tapping stopped abruptly. 

“What do swords have to do with anything?” Beckett asked, turning to face him searchingly. 

He shrugged and tried to look casual. 

“I dunno. They’re kinda phallic.”

She scrunched up her face. 

“Sounds like you’re projecting.” 

He nicked the ball off her and started bouncing it on the floor. 

“Have you tried just asking him?” she asked, sliding a pen from the store’s stationary stash and tapping it noisily on the keyboard. 

“You’re _definitely_ gonna break that.” Javier told her, removing the pen from her fingertips. 

Beckett rolled her eyes and took another high bounce ball from their jar. 

“Ask him.” she said, resuming her earlier rhythm. 

Javier gawked at her. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes.” 

“Nah.” he decided. 

Ask Kevin if he’s gay? What was she, nuts?


End file.
